She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. ~Proverbs 31:25



Simplicity.

I like things that aren't too complicated and I really like the idea of living simply. I admire those that don't need much to be happy...that don't need much to be beautiful. I sat today at an anything but peaceful mall playground and watched my little loves, my set of sisters play. Playing has taken on a new meaning for my littlest who is just getting the hang of walking and I found myself drifting off into dreamland watching the two of them interact. I was at peace. I mean think about it...really think about what was going through their minds. Alessandra's biggest worry was how many times she was going to go down the slide and Sophia...my goodness...I don't even think she HAD a care in the world. It was soul food for me. So simple...some may say trivial but I had a MOMENT and I really like how that moment made me feel. I shot out a quick email to my Auntie to mark the moment as happened and made a big ol' mental note to blog about what's the greater good here...what made this my moment. I'm in a different place these days...a place where I'm sort of in a way searching for something deeper, something greater for myself and my girls. I'm eerily aware of the passing time more than I feel I've ever been and I want to enjoy the moments...small or big...and really LIVE every moment, feeling happy and content. I like how simple it feels to watch my girls play. I like how watching them makes me feel centered and focused. I like sitting back and watching Alessandra take steps on her own and seeing how sometimes she looks back for me but also how sometimes she doesn't even need me...she looks for her sister. Nobody told me how special that was going to feel. It is really nice for this mama to see...the importance of family playing out. It is so refreshing and brings me back to all things simple. What is important in life is that my girls are growing well and healthy...that they're happy...that they feel loved. Everything else pales in comparison. And everything else can be gone without. My girls' happiness, simply couldn't.

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

Have you seen 'The Help'? My sister Mary bought it for me for Christmas and I could not tear my eyes away. I'm usually not a big fan of 'time' pieces and didn't think that this type of movie would draw me in but my goodness, it did. I found myself noticing, studying, analyzing a lot about how life was 'way back when' most especially what is was like to be a mama and was fascinated with how different (read backwards) things were. I sensed an extremely powerful underlying theme in this movie of the power that lies in CONFIDENT women and that theme played out in one African American maid and 'her' white little baby. Every morning, the maid would repeat to this little girl 'You is kind. You is smart. You is important' and little Annabelle would repeat it back, right along with her. Now, I've read lots of books and I've seen lots of girly movies and I've always loved when a daughter remembers a line her mama used to say...a phrase or a mantra that really stuck with her and spoke to her subconscious when she didn't expect it. A line that adds to her confidence...that boosts her self-esteem. A line that adds to her belief that no matter where life takes her, her mama is always with her and I really enjoyed seeing this play out in 'The Help'. Isn't it every mama's hope for her daughter, that she has the confidence, the self-worth, to believe that she can do anything that she sets her mind to. It starts with walking doesn't it? The first steps of independence quite literally and the actuality that life is possible to be explored and navigated without your mama. It begins with the confidence that you can STAND! But where does that confidence come from? I like to believe that hearing someone tell you every single day that you are SMART, that you are KIND and that you are IMPORTANT is an exceptional way to build confidence in a growing girl...a confidence to FLY through life and to do it the right way. It's been heavy on my mind as I watch my Sophia grow. I see an innocence that is so carefree and SO confident. There are so few insecurities in this stage of my my bold and daring independent girl and I love celebrating that. It's the bright side to the big girl's stubborn streak. It's the lovely silver lining to her hard head, I want what I want when I want it self. I want to be one of those moms that says something important and special to my girls every day, something that I can repeat and emphasize...so that when they keep growing and hit things in life that have them shakin' in their boots, they can hear me and know that I believe in them and to trust just how smart they are. It's how I channel my greatest strength. I like to be that way myself. When things get tough and I need to hear my best friends, I do. I hear them all in my head because they've cared enough to take the time to give me a boost of confidence. And with confidence, you can do so much. You'll understand that trying and failing is better than not trying at all. You won't need to feel pressured to do something you don't want to do because you're confident in your values and most importantly not worried about what others will think of you. You will stand up and be KIND even when it's not easy or maybe even not cool. You'll believe that no matter what life throws at you, you have the strength and the ability to persevere...to push forward. It's a beautiful thing confidence is. And it makes even the most beautiful of girls extraordinary.

I cling to quotes, to sayings, to anything that shakes me to my core...makes me feel deeply. Because I love to feel deeply...even if it's painful because for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and for every ounce of pain there is an ounce of joy. And by God does my ounce of JOY outweigh my ounce of pain. My goal in the new year is to pick out, sift through and write about the values in life that I find MOST important...the values and principles of life that I want my girls to remember when the going gets tough. I wish I could promise that for them, the going will never get too tough but that's not life is it? No matter how hard I try. The best I can do is to give them the tools they need to have a deep rooted confidence in their ability to live well. Maybe I need a little mantra. Scratch that. I definitely need a little mantra for my beauties. Something I can repeat to myself and them every day. It'll connect us forever, near or far and I like that. I really like that.

To new beginnings!!!

I like the way life flows after I take a little bit of time to write, to collect my thoughts. I'm happier, my mind is healthier and I'm left with something to look back on, to study, to analyze and to become a better me. I am in full fledged Mommy mode and I love it. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm watching a youngin' take her first steps and become confident in herself, making her way in this world...quite literally. At my side, mostly at all times, I've got a beautifully growing four year old who absolutely, positively loves life, something that I am so very proud of and something that I myself love learning from. And I, on most days, sit in the middle of the two most beautiful things that I have ever laid eyes on and try with everything I have  to embrace every single moment...the good and the bad...the tiring and the tedious...the joyful and the hilarious...it's absolutely beautiful, this crazy life and I do not want to miss a second.

So where comes the need to write, to clear, to clarify. I yearn for a fabulous beginning to the year 2012. I am constantly striving for perfection in the imperfect and I find a refreshing sort of motivation in a clean slate or a new beginning. I have an intense desire to evolve and change and never want to let myself settle for what is comfortable, what is easy. I love the finality of documenting an extension of the mind, to give a thought a space, a place to breathe and grow...the option to analyze what is it about life that I love and what it is about life that I want to change. Writing gives me that option to look back and reflect. More importantly, writing gives me the option to look back on my moments with my girls in a beautiful way.

So it's January 21st. Two days after my Sophia's fourth birthday. It's ironic how strongly I feel the need to document and make resolutions more so on Sophia's birthday than on the eve of a New Year. I like what that says about where my need for clarity and change comes from. To me it means it's coming from a good place, from an honest place that stems from the celebration of my big girl and my subconscious need to never settle for less than I'm capable of. As a mom isn't that in essence what we all want for ourselves, our children?

So, let me first identify for myself what this space will be for me. My first goal is not to limit myself in anything that I do, starting with this. It's a great habit to get myself into...'the limitless setting of goals'. I want this space to have as many facets as I need it to. I am excited to write again...I'm excited to feel the satisfaction that comes after I write and use the clarity that writing brings to keep striving for a more positive tomorrow. So here we go.....